


Marry Me

by EternallyEC



Category: Victorious (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Or Is It?, Pining, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-10
Updated: 2020-10-10
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:14:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26938738
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EternallyEC/pseuds/EternallyEC
Summary: But the very idea of not being in love with Jade West was incomprehensible, her feelings for her best friend seemingly woven into the very fabric of her DNA and wholly inseparable.~ OR ~Cat's been in love with her best friend for years, but the reality of not taking a chance doesn't sink in until it's too late.
Relationships: Cat Valentine/Jade West
Comments: 4
Kudos: 55





	Marry Me

_I'll try to make it through without crying so nobody sees_   
_Yeah, she wants to get married_   
_But she don't wanna marry me_

_I remember the night when I almost kissed her_   
_Yeah, I kinda freaked out, we'd been friends for forever_   
_And I always wondered if she felt the same way_

“Beck proposed.” 

Cat froze, fork halfway to her mouth as she tried to make sense of her best friend’s words and the reaction she was supposed to have to them. 

It wasn’t like the news was a shock, or at least it  _ really  _ shouldn’t have been. Beck and Jade had been dating forever, minus a couple of break-ups during high school. But it had been over six years without a break-up and now that they’d all graduated and gotten settled in their respective careers, she knew that she really should have seen this coming. 

But she sort of couldn’t help but wonder if she would have ever felt anything but shocked and heartbroken at those words coming from the only woman she’d ever left. 

She sort of  _ really  _ didn’t think so. 

But this was  _ Jade,  _ her best friend since first grade, and she was studying Cat with a guarded expression that let her know she’d been quiet for too long. 

The last thing that Cat would ever want to do was to hurt her, so she used every ounce of acting ability she’d acquired during her years at Hollywood Arts and during her career since, slipping into the character she’d created some time ago, the one who  _ wasn’t  _ in love with her best friend and would be happy about this news. 

Beaming, she let her fork clatter to the plate as she scooted closer to Jade’s side of the booth, wrapping her arms around her and planting a sticky kiss on her cheek with a giggle. “Does that mean you said yes?” she asked, pulling back with an expectant expression as she waited for her answer. 

She relaxed slightly, knowing she’d played her part just right when Jade relaxed, a smile blooming across her face as she shrugged. “Maybe,” she said, taking another bite of her pancakes, turning her other hand towards Cat so that she could see the black diamond on her ring finger. 

“Oh my god,” Cat squealed, ignoring the searing pain in her heart as she grabbed Jade’s hand and pulled it closer, inspecting the ring with all the enthusiasm she thought a best friend should have. “Jade, this is beautiful,” she said, and she kind of hated that she wasn’t acting for that part; the ring truly  _ was  _ exquisite and it looked beautiful on her. 

Part of her felt left out though; wasn’t helping pick out the engagement ring part of the best friend’s job? But the feeling of exclusion was quickly shaken when she tried to imagine how it would have felt to help Beck pick out a ring to propose to Jade with, quickly realizing it would have been even worse than the pain she was feeling now. 

Breakfast with Jade had never felt like torture before, but Cat swore the meal dragged on for ten times longer than it usually did that day. The subject had changed after a bit, allowing her to slip back into herself and out of the role of the supportive best friend who is absolutely  _ not  _ in love with the newly engaged woman, but she hadn’t been able to keep her eyes off that ring, heart tearing anew at every glimpse. 

But the worst part had to be the memories that were tormenting her; every single glance that had made Cat’s heart flutter, how safe and warm and  _ right  _ she felt when she’d slept in Jade’s bed at sleepover after sleepover, the way she had almost taken a chance at the graduation party… 

_ She’d had far too much of the strange concoction someone had made with coconut rum and Kool-Aid, the delicious mixture sneaking up on her until she’d started giggling at the world spinning around her.  _

_ Now she was sitting on the beach towel Jade had thought to bring for them, slowly dragging her fingers through the sand while her other was wrapped around her best friend. Her head was resting on Jade’s shoulder, her friend’s arm wrapped loosely around her, and everything felt perfect.  _

_ Shifting slightly, she glanced up at Jade’s face. The other girl was watching the fire, face unreadable in the changing light from the flames, but Cat only had eyes for her lips.  _

_ For as long as she could remember, she had wanted to know what it would feel like to kiss Jade. The timing had never felt right and she’d never had the courage to actually make a move, though. But now, between the liquor in her system and the warm fuzziness she always felt when Jade was holding her this way, she couldn’t seem to think of a reason not to go for it.  _

_ Licking her lips, she shifted again, leaning up as her heart roared in her ears, finally feeling bold enough to take the chance…  _

_ Suddenly, something slammed into her back and she fell forward with a shriek. She must have fainted from the shock because the next thing she knew, her head was cradled in Jade’s lap as her friend stroked her hair.  _

_ “What happened?” she asked, frowning as she tried not to let her eyelids flutter closed. It was really hard though, Jade’s ministrations feeling far too soothing and making her sleepy.  _

_ “Robbie hit you with a volleyball,” Jade growled, shooting daggers where Cat assumed Robbie must be. “I threatened to feed Rex to a shark if he comes near us again, so we should be good.”  _

_ Cat giggled at the mental image she’d painted; though she knew that Rex meant a lot to Robbie, the puppet had always been just awful to her and she couldn’t deny the thought of Jade feeding him to a shark had some appeal.  _

_ She managed to forget entirely about what had almost happened until the next day when she woke in Jade’s bed with a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. She couldn’t believe she’d almost ruined their friendship like that, she thought as she watched Jade sleep beside her, their legs touching under the blankets with a casual intimacy she had almost destroyed.  _

_ They had been friends for their entire lives, ever since Jade had saved her from a bully in first grade and demanded she eat lunch with her. They were Cat and Jade, Jade and Cat, and she made a decision as she watched her sleep that she would never do anything to jeopardize that. _

What she hadn’t realized then was that the what-ifs and regrets we’re often left to live with hurt more than rejection ever will. And, not for the first time, Cat watched Jade disappear into the distance after breakfast was over, fingers pressed to her lips as she wondered what could have been if she’d been allowed the chance to kiss her that night or if she’d ever  _ once  _ been honest about her feelings. 

But it was too late now, she thought to herself with a sigh, only heading home herself once she couldn’t find a reason to stay anymore. She had a wedding to plan. 

~

As time went on, she slowly got used to the idea. As Jade’s maid of honor, she threw herself into wedding planning without much acting necessary; Jade was her oldest and very best friend, after all, and she wanted her to have the wedding of her dreams, even if it was to someone else. 

Nearly six months after the fateful breakfast, Cat held the sample invitations in her hand, glancing them over before she took them over to Jade to decide which ones to use. They had worked for hours on getting the words just right, and Cat thought she could probably recite them in her sleep. 

But despite the familiarity, something strange happened as she was shifting through the samples, checking to make sure the wording was correct on all of them. 

**_You are cordially invited to the wedding of_ **

**_Jade West_ **

**_& _ **

**_Beck Oliver_ **

The embossed letters suddenly seemed to swim off the page, something about seeing the words in writing suddenly making everything terrifyingly  _ real  _ to the redhead. She nearly dropped the cards, her hands suddenly trembling too much to hold them. But she managed to keep her grip and slowly set them down on the kitchen table before sitting down heavily. 

Putting her head in her hands, she closed her eyes and tried to make sense of the way her thoughts were spinning around, even more tangled and harder to make sense of than usual. She had little luck, although she was able to sort out one thing for certain. 

It seemed that, in her desire to plan Jade’s perfect wedding and to do her best to ensure she had the kind of day she absolutely deserved, she had somewhat forgotten about everything the wedding represented. She’d thrown herself so into the wedding planning and making Jade happy that she’d forgotten that she was giving up the only woman she’d ever loved. 

Alone in the apartment, she felt safe to rest her forehead against the cool wooden tabletop, tears spilling from her eyes as she tried to imagine letting Jade go. 

But the very idea of not being in love with Jade West was incomprehensible, her feelings for her best friend seemingly woven into the very fabric of her DNA and wholly inseparable. 

Not for the first time in her life, Cat Valentine wished that she had been born with a little more courage as she finally faced up to the reality of living a lifetime of unrequited love. 

~

The day of the wedding was sunny and beautiful, warm without being hot, and it was absolutely perfect. It was also the complete opposite of the way Cat felt inside, all turmoil and rainclouds, although she didn’t let that show. 

Getting ready quickly, she hurried into the dressing room at the church to help Jade. Her stomach fluttered at the sight of her beautiful friend in her fitted black wedding dress that molded to her body in the perfect way. She wore a red rose tucked behind her ear, and the smile that lit up her face at the sight of Cat made her stomach flip. 

“Work your magic, I look  _ terrible _ ,” Jade huffed, sitting down and examining herself in the mirror while Cat tried to catch her breath. 

“Are you kidding? You’re the most beautiful bride I’ve ever seen,” Cat reassured her, smiling at her warmly through the mirror as she started to set up. 

“Yeah, yeah, just fix me, please?” 

Cat bit her lip as she tried to hide her glowing smile, knowing the ‘please’ meant that Jade was really nervous and counting on her. They talked as she worked and for just a few fleeting moments, they were just Jade and Cat, the wedding falling away and allowing Cat room to breathe for what she knew would probably be the only time that day. 

But soon she had finished her work, grinning happily as Jade gave her approval and stood up, pulling her into a tight hug that ended almost as soon as it had begun, leaving the redhead’s head spinning. “Thanks,” Jade said, giving her an awkward smile that finally broke through her daze. 

“You look beautiful,” she replied, gently squeezing her upper arm. “Beck’s a very lucky guy.” 

She had no idea if she was imagining the pained look in Jade’s eyes or the question she would swear she saw lingering there, and for just a moment, Cat was tempted to put everything on the line. They weren’t married yet, she could still tell Jade how she felt and let go of all of her regrets once and for all. Who knew, maybe Jade would even call the wedding off, maybe she felt the same way… 

Cat swiftly cut off that train of thought, dropping her eyes down as she busied herself putting her makeup away. Neither Beck nor Jade deserved such sneaky tactics, she quietly scolded herself, trying desperately to ignore the weight of Jade’s stare on her back. She’d had plenty of chances to tell Jade how she felt and she hadn’t, so now it was time for her to accept the consequences. 

“Cat?” 

She took a slow, calming breath before plastering another fake smile on her face. “Yeah? Do you need something else?” 

Then Jade’s hand was on her shoulder and she was gently turning her to face her, searching her face for something as Cat’s heart pounded in her chest. The disappointment in her eyes as her hand fell away didn’t go unmissed, and Cat had to force her hands to stay at her sides as they twitched, longing to reach out and draw her back. 

“No, I guess not,” she murmured, hands smoothing out her dress as though she was as nervous as Cat. But that was ridiculous, Jade never got nervous. 

The mood was interrupted when Tori knocked on the door and stuck her head in, giving a little wave and a huge grin. “They said it’s almost time,” she reported, breaking the tense moment that had been building and officially washing away the last of Cat’s chances. 

But as they took their places by the entry door, Jade’s smile had returned and Cat felt her heart swell at the sight of her happiness. 

No, she thought as the doors opened and she readied herself to start walking down the aisle to a new future, one without any hope of finally landing the woman of her dreams. She wouldn’t ruin this, not for Jade. She wanted to get married and Cat wanted her to be happy, even if it wasn’t with her. 

Somehow, she’d make it work and they’d be okay, she decided as she put her smile on again and stepped through the door and into a new existence. 

**Author's Note:**

> This was totally inspired by and the title & opening lyrics taken from _Marry Me_ by **Thomas Rhett**. Please let me know what you thought!


End file.
